Fresh Scented Moisturizing Handsoap

I started my first real person full-time internship yesterday. We had orientation all day with half of the other interns which was nice to get to meet the other people who are all in the same shoes. There are 54 interns total out of over 1,000 applicants and as the day went on I became more and more surprised at how I somehow got chosen to fulfill this intern role. Now I had an internship last year, but it was only part time and it was extremely mundane. It was really a resume builder because I really didn't get anything out of it. I had to perform mundane and mindless tasks and I counted down the clock each day I was there. 

This year's internship will be a whole other experience. I'll be working in the Global Compliance department of an international specialty pharmaceutical company so I'll be dealing a lot with legal issues, regulations and the likes. I'll be working full time so M-F, 8-5 type deal and though I'm bummed to have to forfeit my the free time I've grown so used to during my summers, it will be nice to have some cash in my pocket and not have to wait tables on the side like last summer. I'm the only intern in my department (actually the first to go through my department entirely) so it's going to be an interesting learning experience for me and my advisers.

Yesterday was our first day where we each got our own work laptops for the summer, learned about the company and took a tour of the campus (yes, campus--it has four buildings at this particular location). Today was each of our first days in the office. My department is very small so I got to meet almost everyone in it today which was nice. They had a lunch for me in one of the conference rooms where we spent an hour talking about Big Bang Theory, a beer festival, the classic rock cover band one of my advisers is in, airport security and more. It was nice to meet everyone in a much more casual setting because over the next two weeks I've got more formal meetings with everyone in the department to learn about their positions in such. Everyone seems really excited to have an intern in the office (probably since I'm the first one for this department, so I hope I don't disappoint) and that makes me feel like I'm actually a member of the team and not just an a coffee-grabber or copy-maker--which is not what my job will include this summer.

Speaking of coffee though, there are coffee stations located throughout the building and their is one just around the corner from me. This is exciting both because I love coffee and will need lots of it to adjust to long work days, but also because it's one of the kinds that you stick a packet in and it creates an individualized cup in like 30 seconds, so no waiting for a whole pot to brew. The best part, there's such a wide selection of coffee, tea and even cappuccino and hot chocolate. On top of all of this, on my floor in the building there's also a little coffee cafe...if I feel like going for a latte or some other kind of drink not covered at the coffee station. Pretty cool huh?

Another cool thing is that I'm going to be invited to sit in on a lot of meetings so I can learn about what goes on in the industry and such. There's a weekly department meeting that we actually video conference with a few of our international offices too.  Although we all know that my heart is in theatre and that is what I hope to pursue someday, I think this will be a really great experience for me to learn about the corporate world so I can have a legitimate fall back plan.

Now the only negative aspect so far is that the commute is AWFUL. It's only 20 miles away from home and should only take me 30 minutes to get there, but the traffic at the time of day I have to travel is just terrible. It took an hour and fifteen minutes today to get there today and an hour to get home. I was so frazzled. I really hope I can find a quicker and easier route because getting stuck in traffic that bad everyday is going to get old really fast (it already is old).

The buildings are all modestly colorful but in a very pleasant and tasteful way. There is an onsite fitness center with exercise classes, personal trainers and even a massage therapist. There is an on site dry cleaner, multiple cafeterias and cafes where they even hold weekly lunch bbq's. Every building has a locker room area with showers, fresh towels, and even shampoo/conditioner. So if you want to work out before work or during lunch you're all covered. There are even "wellness rooms" which are small rooms with a chair and a little bed type thing that you can use if you start feeling ill during the day, or get a migraine or something else that would cause you to need to lie down for a few minutes in peace. I was literally baffled at this place.

Now, today was a pretty good first day of just getting used to the office and the company policies, going over some of my potential projects and such but something that really stood out to me was the hand soap. I know that sounds weird, but the hand soap in the bathroom has a very pleasant scent and it leaves your hands feeling so soft. As someone who can't stand dry skin, having fresh scented moisturizing hand soap in the bathroom is wonderful and I think that something as simple as that can really show that a company actually cares about it's employees.

It's going to be a long summer full of long commutes, figuring lots of things out, learning a lot and trying to be brave enough to ask lots of questions. We'll see where the road takes me with my first experience in the corporate world.


Ta-ta for now friends.
-MLD

Equality.

Honestly, this shouldn't even have to be said. Equality is the condition of being equal. There are no guidelines, no specifics to what should be allowed to be equal, so why is there such an argument?

Up until the 1960's in America, black Americans had been historically mistreated. Having been brought over as slaves as early as the 1600's they were eventually granted freedom courtesy of President Lincoln's efforts. In 1870, they were finally granted the right to vote as by the fifteenth amendment, stating: Under the United States Constitution, it is prohibited for each government in the United States from denying a citizen's right to vote on that citizen's race, color or previous servitude (i.e. slave). Okay so, yay, black Americans have suffrage now everything is bright and merry with flowers and rainbows right? Wrong. It wasn't until The 1954 that people started taking a stand. I'm pretty sure that, after multiple centuries of your ancestors and family and self being oppressed you're going get pretty fed up with all of the bullshit.

Okay, so there was racial segregation (particularly in the southernmost states) which separated (by law...wtf?!) both public facilities and government services (such as educational facilities) into "white" and "colored". Because as we all know, if you are around someone who is different from you, they rub off on you, obviously (sarcasm, of course). Not to mention, the "colored" facilities were significantly underfunded and were much more inferior in quality than their "white" counter facilities. There was also disfranchisement which made voting for black Americans notably more inaccessible, forcing the number of colored voters to greatly decline. So, let me get this straight, lets just say I'm a black American in the late 1950's and though under the United States Constitution, I have the right to vote and yet somehow, I still don't get to vote. What the fu--!

On top of those, there was also exploitation, causing an increased economic oppression of minority groups by denying economic opportunities and employment. There were unreasonable rules such as "colored" people had to sit in the back of the bus (oh hey Rosa Parks....), I mean why not just have a "colored' bus, since everything else is segregated too right? And also, most unfortunately there was violence. Virtually everyone with at least some educational background knows of the infamous Ku Klux Klan and their "white supremacy" campaigns. They performed frequent lynching of black Americans in attempts to "wipe the race out". Race is not a stain, you can't just tide-to-go it, it's a thread stitched into the fabric of life. Just like animals, insects, and plants have other species, we have other races. Just because someone isn't the same color as you does not in any way mean that they are lesser than you. 

Take a look at Disney's Tarzan. In the scene just before Kala sings "You'll Be in My Heart", you find Tarzan smearing mud on his face in an attempt to look more "like the others". Kala points out that they have both have two hands, two eyes, a nose, a mouth, and a heart, that they are the same. Now I am not comparing racial differences to animals, I'm just using this is an example of how differences such as color, beliefs, gender, sexuality and what not to not deter from the fact that we are the same. We have two hands, two eyes, a nose, a mouth, a heart, etc. Why do the differences matter?

Continuing on the topic, mass racial violence in the United States has continued well into the 20th century. Attacks on Irish Catholics, Italians, Latinos, virtually any other racial difference was discriminated against at some point or another. This is especially famous from the musical West Side Story, which is a more modern day Romeo and Juliet about rival racial groups.  Long story short, someone dies, just like the great Martin Luther King Jr. did in 1968 too from an assassination.

So gradually black American's have been moving on up in the ranks of American society, to today where we have the lucky opportunity to be alive during the leadership of the first ever black President, Barack Obama. Now that's what starting to have an open mind is, America. Yet even now, we still have programs like affirmative action (which are supposed to help integrate minorities by setting a "quota").... but some could argue that that could be partially considered racism, giving unfair advantage to someone just because of their ethnicity. 

Say you have two students applying for a college entrance, both have the exact same credentials, yet one is Caucasian and another is, let's say Pacific Islander.... due to affirmative action the minority representative is more likely to be admitted, just for the purpose of filling the diversity quota..... Race should NOT be a section on applications. Acceptances (for jobs, schools, scholarships, etc) should be based on credentials and other factors, NOT what your ethnicity happens to be. By giving minority groups an advantage, one could conclude that as racism as well, positive racism, but still racism none the less. Surely, back in affirmative actions origins, it was a great thing, because it literally forced integration to happen, but now that isn't a problem. Now it gets abused. I know someone of Caucasian decent who on a college application marked ethnicity as Latino and ended up receiving quite a hefty scholarship. Now I know others who were much more qualified to receive that scholarship but due to their membership of the majority ethnicity they did not have the same luck.

Now moving on to the equality of women. I'll start with the point of how women were seen more as "property" (even in some cases today, some men still consider it so....). They were not allowed to vote, they had fewer legal rights and career opportunities, etc. They were baby-makers and wives, and that was their "job". WRONG AMERICA (and other countries who still don't have this right). Women historically in America were seen as intellectually inferior, and naturally weaker than men (weaker? I don't see a man housing a living child in HIS body for nine months and then having it come out of his lower body.... weak my ass). Since women were seen as inferior, by law an unmarried woman could not own property, make a contract, sue, hold a credit card, do anything for herself basically. Luckily though, the role of women began to take a turn especially in 1920 with the Nineteenth Amendment was passed, prohibiting both state and federal government from denying any citizen the right to vote based on a citizen's sex. ABOUT DAMN TIME. No wonder all that jazz music and alcohol came into play during this time period, women we're freaking excited and basically gave a big fu-- you women stereotypes and constraints. Que the shock-wave of, "I do what I want!". Amen sisters. 

But still, women have been (and still are sadly) objectified. (http://www.oddee.com/item_96674.aspx) Just look at ANY of those vintage ads and you'll see what I mean. Women are displayed as incompetent,only useful for cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids and the most notable, as objects of sex. Just like the common phrase used by many ignoramus' of this generation "go make me a sandwich", directed towards women. Though women hold high rankings now a days, such as in top government positions, surgeons, lawyers, engineers, you name it, women do it. Yet we're still expected in many cases to clean the house, cook the meals, care for the kids, AND look aesthetically pleasing along with all of that. Women rights have come a long way in a historical context, but even so women are statistically paid less then their male coworkers for doing the exact same job. What's the deal with that!? Discrimination is discrimination be it against a different ethnicity or gender. Hello girl power!

This brings me to my last point, which is the one that actually started my thought process on equality today. Same sex partnership. This is absolutely ridiculous that this is even an argument. Love is love no matter who shares it. My question is, how the hell can it be okay for someone to legally marry an intimate object (google that shit, it is surprisingly more common than you'd think.... http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=7283494&page=1) but a woman cannot marry another woman (in most states)... and a man cannot marry a man? What the fu--! That's just downright unreasonable to ban gay marriage yet accept marriage to the Eiffel Tower.  

Currently in the United States, same sex marriage is legal in only SEVEN states. Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, Maine, New Hampshire, and most recently Washington. I want to know why there is even a ban in the first place? The definition of a marriage is "the state of being a married couple voluntarily for life". No where does it say  "a man and women". 

Okay, I'll touch this for anyone religious who may be reading this. Sure, the bible condemns homosexuality, such as in Leviticus 18:22 "you shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female. It is an abomination" and even the 1st Corinthians 6.9-10, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, ¹⁰nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God." along with some others. But let us go to the point that the bible. The first version of the bible was created before 100 AD... this means that the bible has been around for roughly 1,910 years. 

Keep in mind the bible was NOT written in English and was therefore translated.....many....many...many times. Also keep in mind that translation from another language in usually not accurate seeing as we have different meanings for things and ways to describe them and what not. Also something to consider is the likely hood of translators adding their own two cents in. And lastly to think about is the amount of different religions around the world there are. Now I don't mean to offend anyone, but what is in the bible isn't necessarily true, it's just what you believe in. Not to mention where is the supposed separation of church and state when it comes to same sex marriage legislation?!

Okay, seriously though. There is no reason for people to disagree with homosexuality. If you don't like the idea of being with someone in your same gender than DON'T DO IT, but don't try to stop others. Really, I just want fairness. I can love and marry whomever the hell I desire as a heterosexual, and I want the same rights for my homosexual friends (which anyone who knows me, knows there are MANY). I can marry who I want, gays should be able to too. It's just like if you don't like a certain person, you don't hang out with them. If you don't like the idea of gay marriage, than don't do it. But don't stop that person from having other friends, and don't stop gays from having rights. 

I was privy to watch a documentary today on same sex marriage and discrimination. One heartbreaking story was of a woman whose 10 year long partner was trapped in a flash flood in the basement of their home. Emergency response was on the way and she tried all she could, almost getting herself drowned to try to save her partner. When her wife was final rescued and taken to the ER she was told to follow the ambulance, so she did. But when she got there they said only the next of kin was allowed in (generally a parent or sibling, but is transferred to spouse in marriage). After explaining that she was the woman's partner the hospital demanded proof, something that WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED EVER in a heterosexual scenario. So the woman had to contact her partner's family for them to verify their partnership...... wasting precious time she should have been able to spend by her beloved's dying side, for her final moments. Luckily she was able to make it before her wife passed away but what if she hadn't? Just imagine anyone you love, your parents, your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, sibling, anyone, being in their last moments and not being able to be there for them because of discrimination. It completely wrenched my heart. Thankfully, she used this tragedy to become a fighter, and pushed her Washington state officials to lift the ban on same sex marriage so that others do not have to go through this. 

On another topic of same sex partnership, they should also be able to adopt. Having gay parents is not going to make you gay. Firstly, even if homosexuality IS biological, the child would not inherit homosexuality from gay adopted parents. Secondly, being around gay people does not rub off their homosexuality onto you....... you can have gay friends and not be gay, same goes for parents. I personally know a few people from singled sexed parents who have turned out completely fine. Homosexual parents are equally qualified to raise children as heterosexual parents. And, since there is such a large number of children in the world in need of adoption, same sexed couples, granted the opportunity, can provide a wonderful nurturing home to a child who might otherwise be raised in an orphanage, or move from foster home to foster home. Let children have the chance to have a happy life, let same sexed partners have the chance to be parents. 'Nough said.

Now, what is this don't ask don't tell bullshit all about!? If someone is brave and selfless enough to be fighting in the military, fighting for our country, how dare anyone try to suppress their sexuality. Heterosexual soldiers can freely talk about their significant others, and families and what not back home, but if a homosexual man or woman tries to talk about their same-sexed partner? Forg-eh-dah-bout-it. You're not supposed to ask, and I'm not supposed to tell. What was that freedom of speech? I can't hear what you're saying?? Maybe if you weren't so full of 'exceptions' I could hear what you're saying...... Soldiers, gay, straight, bi, trans, whatever, deserve the utmost respect, why should they fight for a country, who doesn't fight for them?

All in all, what I'm basically trying to say is that equality has no specifications, so why has it been such an argument over who is granted it? Why were blacks slaves at one point? Why were women not given the right to vote? Why are homosexual couples not allowed to be married in most states? America prides itself on being the land of the free. Where was your freedom when Rosa Parks took a stand on the bus in the 1960's? Where was your freedom when that women was delayed going into the emergency room to be with her wife? Freedom is never free, it is a constant battle, and while America as a country has made incredible progress over the country's lifespan, there is still much to strive for. Freedom from oppression, freedom of prejudice, freedom from discrimination, freedom of stereotypes. America is like a fruit salad, it's an assortment of differences, and until we learn to fulled accept and embrace those differences with open minds, we'll never be truly free.

 <3 ML

Difficulty

Obviously, I knew going into this that writing a novel would be difficult. but getting the ball rolling has really been a strain on my brain! Especially since I'm winging the entire thing and didn't have really a starting point. However, that being said, I am thoroughly enjoying the internal battle I've been experiencing. The ups and downs, the doubts, excitement, digging around the depths of my imagination, everything! Luckily, I've gotten nothing but positive feedback and (I hope) genuine interests. I really do hope that everyone is not sugar coating it for me, and that they really are as interested in my storyline as they say, though I've got a few very trusted opinions so I'm feeling a lot more confident about it.

I've come to terms that I will not be finishing the 50,000 words on time, by the end of November and I'm totally fine with that because I want to write more than 50,000 words. The average published novel is 80-120K words, so that's what I am going to shoot for. Since I've received so much positive feedback and interest in my novel-in-progress (I've already had 3 people wanting to edit it once I'm finished!) I'm considering attempting to get it published.... that is, given that I finish in a timely manner and it turned out good by my standards and also enough people like the finished product, also after being edited by myself and multiple others. It's just a goal to strive for, so we'll see. As for finishing, my goal is to finish the first rough draft of the 80K+ novel before winter session (so just after New Years). This gives me just under 2 months to complete it. 

Gong to work on it now, let's hope I can pull through with this goal :)



 

NaNoWriMo

This month, I'm writing a novel.

Thanks, NationalNovelWritingMonth.org.

It's something I've been wanting to do for a long time but never actually DID anything about it. This is the perfect motivation that I need to do it. 

moments of uncertainty.

Too much too recently a few of my friends have been thrown some rather difficult curve balls in life. Both instances came out of seemingly nowhere and while my friends were on top of the world (figuratively of course). It just irritates me how such bad things happen to good people, yet those with excessive darkness in their souls are rewarded with freedom of life's victimization games. I ask my self why is it that wretched things happen to the benign? Both cases that I speak of now involve hospitals, which brings me to my second point of my dislike for hospitals. It is not as though I do not like hospitals, but more so the memories associated with them. Last year, I spent many a night's there over winter break. Most nights actually, absorbing the last moments I'd be able to share (unknowingly and unfortunately) with my Popop. Looking back at those suppressed memories (and suppressed because I wish my remembered to be of his livelihood not ventilators) and I feel extreme sympathy for my friends. Though all of the situations are different in their own way, they all have a common theme of unfortunate events. I plan to express my sympathy and also memories in the form of verse which I will post once completed, but for now my thoughts are in a vortex of memory and I can't quite grasp the verbiage to express what I wish to.

blank verse from an old ache

Every week for my theatre class, we have to write poems about different emotions and what not, this one is from the "pain" assignment. Though it's not how I've felt anytime recently, it's just a reminiscence of what I felt a time ago and I kind of liked it so I decided to post it.


Wouldn't it be nice if you could see
Straight through my eyes, and into my heart
You might find some tumble weeds, maybe dust
Surrounding the gate that you had to break
The gate protecting myself from the world
The one I should have never let you open
But I did, and all that is left there now-
Is shards of glass, you cracked into bits.
Didn't you know how fragile hearts can be?
Glued pieces together, but never will be whole.

STAR

This is how I view fame. People dreaming of it, the camera flashes and shimmering clothing, the constant chaos that the tabloids present, is it reality? Or is it all just a dream?

Stranded in a reoccurring dream

Tangled through worldly glitter and flames

A life crossing over churning seas 

Race amidst reality, so seems.